上联：中国那么大，我想去看看，下联：钱包那么小，谁都走不了，横批：好好上班。
The first couplet: China is so big, I want to see it. The second couplet: the purse is so small, no one can leave. The horizontal Criticism: work hard.
想住进你心里，没想到是个小区，里面还有不少邻居。
Want to live in your heart, did not expect is a community, there are many nei***ors.
五十六种语言汇成一句话，不想上班，不想上班，不想上班。
Fifty six languages come together into one sentence: I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to go to work.
我们不要见面了，洗头发很累，洗发水很贵。
Let’s not meet. It’s tiring to wash our hair. Shampoo is expensive.
生活不止眼前的苟且，还有买不起的房子和养不起家的工资。
Life is not only a matter of time, but also a house that can’t be bought and a salary that can’t be raised.
都说男女相处需要相互包容，所以没有包包，女朋友就容不下你。
It is said that men and women need to be tolerant of each other, so without a bag, a girlfriend can’t accommodate you.
我觉得一定有很多人暗恋我，因为这么多年了，也没有人跟我表白。
I think there must be a lot of people secretly in love with me, because for so many years, no one has confessed to me.
答应我 一定要吃早餐 健不健康不重要 主要是一天中最便宜的一顿！
Promise me to have breakfast. It doesn’t matter whether you are healthy or not. It’s the cheapest meal of the day!
为什么一到公司就犯困呢？因为公司是你梦开始的地方。
Why do you feel sleepy as soon as you get to the company? Because the company is where your dream begins.
招蜂引蝶的技能我是没有，招蚊子我倒是一流。
I don’t have the skills to attract bees and butterflies, but I’m first-class in attracting mosquitoes.
不想洗衣服怎么办，娶个媳妇就可以了。如果媳妇贤惠，就给你洗衣服了；如果媳妇彪悍，你就学会洗衣服了。
If you don’t want to wash clothes, just marry a daughter-in-law. If the daughter-in-law is virtuous, she will wash your clothes for you; If your daughter-in-law is tough, you will learn to wash clothes.
晴天适合出行，雨天适合睡觉，漫长的岁月中竟没有一天适合上班。
Sunny days are suitable for traveling, rainy days are suitable for sleeping, but there is not a day suitable for going to work in the long years.
长得丑怎么了啊？只要不照镜子，恶心的又不是我自己。
Ugly. What’s the matter? As long as I don’t look in the mirror, I’m not sick of myself.
女朋友出差刚回来，问我：“狗狗呢？”我突然想逗她一下就说：“送人了。”看到她快急哭了的表情，我哈哈一笑，端起灶上的锅说道：“哈哈！骗你的！在锅里呢！”。
My girlfriend just came back from a business trip and asked me, “where’s the dog?” I suddenly wanted to tease her and said, “give it away.” Seeing her crying face, I laughed, took the pot on the stove and said, “ha ha! I lied to you! It’s in the pot.